Finally "really" happy!!

It has been forever since I have posted anything and I promise that I am going to be better!! We added a new bundle of joy to our lifes on July 10th.. Ryker Kenneth Scott Strickland! We love him so much so he is going to get his own post here shortly :) I just wanted to blog real quick that I am finally "really" happy!! In the past I have always been happy with my life but I just wasn't sure of where I was going or what I was doing... and in that time I was not a very good friend, lover or daughter. The other night I was sitting there feeding Ryker while Payton was doing my hair and talking to Tyler and it just hit me that I am really happy! I have found out who I am and what I want from life! I just feel at peace with myself... I don't know how to explain it.. It was like taking a ton of weight off my shoulders... I still am not perfect by any means! I still stress about things, I still say the wrong things, but that is me and I am really happy with that :) I love my little family and I love the family that we are becoming!! Tyler is seriously my best friend I tell him everything (even when it's bad things about him!) But I love how we can talk and have some really deep conversations... He gets me like no one else ever has! I love my kids more than anything in the world!! Payton has taught me so much about life, how she acts with her cousin Kenidee is so sweet and tender it always brings tears to my eyes to see her helping Kenidee and interacting with her. Whenever she sees me crying she always tells me "sweetheart it will all be ok, remeber laugh!" and she will start tickling me. That little girl is my rock and has got me through so much!! Our new little man Ryker is the sweetest thing ever! I love that he starts to cry and I just speak his name and his eyes light up and he starts to smile!! He is a strong little boy and is always smiling. He just has this thing about him that you know everything is going to be ok. God blessed me with 2 amazing kids! And now that I know who I really am I have been a better friend, a better mom, daughter and wife. I know I have rambled and probably haven't made much sense... it's hard for me to explain this feeling I am just really truly happy :)